Driven to live a purpose filled life...

Driven to live a purpose filled life I knew I was not a product of my environment but my future and environment was to be a product of me.

As young as I can remember I lived with my grandmother because my father was physically abusive and my mother fell into depression. I lived with my grandmother until I was in grade 8 (13 years old) where I decided to put myself into a foster home because I was living with three schizophrenic uncles one of which was sexually abusive towards me. The home was full of chaos and anger and I too was angry and so full of pain I wanted to take my life. I remember a time sitting at the edge of my bed and holding a butter knife to my stomach thinking that might work. I tried so many times to run away but didn't know what I would be running to only what I was running from.

I lived in group homes and foster homes and had no one I really trusted in my life. I turned to dating guys, unknowingly trying to find a safe place, someone to look up to, someone to love me. I just always wanted to be loved but I was so broken, so I too attracted broken people in my life. Because of a series of bad choices and a lack of guidance, I ended up getting pregnant at 16 years old and had my son two weeks after my 17th birthday.

At 19 years old, the fostercare "system" lets you free into the world. I knew I would be okay but was I ever scared. I always had top grades, and always had at least one person in my life at a time who told me they believed in me and I would grow into an influencer. I never saw life as a burden rather a blessing and wanted to use my life experiences to help others. But how?

I worked full time and had to survive. I had no drive to go to school to further my education and was firm on not getting in debt or taking out loans. I fell in to the 9-5 grind 40 hours a week, but was this really to be the rest of my life, at a low paying job.&! nbsp; I went from job to job thinking there had to be more to life, there had to be more.
I went from guy to guy, church to church, school to school, job to job, the only common denominator I saw was me. I had to change, I knew I was created for greatness.

Lost in this world having no clue what my purpose was, I turned to finding acceptance in parties, drugs, sex and "friends." My life got so low I didn't know what to do any more.

A friend invited me to church and I felt so moved in that short time, I wept and wept. I always knew of God but never knew the relationship one could have. I had no faith in people, in this world, and in a god but I didn't see what else there was to turn to so I tried to challenge Him in that moment. I "told" God that if he was really real, to take my pain away from me so when I leave the church I will be painless. God revealed Himself to me when I left those doors and really had the weight of the world, lifted from my shoulders. I now know its on the cross.

God has turned my life into a miracle and guided me to an even more immence passion for wanting to help people. I have amazing support systems like the World Wide Dream Builders Organization who mentor people to live a purpose driven life and help them change from students to mentors, to pay it forward. Through this team, I meet with families on a day to day basis and see so many broken lives looking, searching for light. I have been blessed, and live to serve and bless others to help them know the purpose to which they have been called, to provide hope, and live as a woman after Gods own heart.

Tamara Sawrie